The Splash Zone: Top Tips for G Spot Ejaculation
Words by Zahra Stardust
Hair & makeup by Glitta Supernova
Photos by Viv McGregor for Claude
I never knew I could ejaculate until one day it happened by surprise. I hated pressure on my G-spot, preferring deep thrusting against my cervix. I was proud about how deep I could go, swallowing up 8 inch cocks with ease, but I had no tolerance for that spot which felt uncomfortable, irritating and rather annoying. I have been prone to urinary tract infections since childhood, vigilant about going to the toilet before, after and during sex, and paranoid about inflaming an area that was already sensitive.
When it happened I thought I’d suddenly got my period. I was playing with someone new. She had her fingers inside me, and I was trying hard to relax past that awful point of wanting to pee. I was determined to test my bodily thresholds and let go of whatever it was I was holding onto tight within. As I breathed to transform discomfort into release, I felt a leaking sensation and wet sheets beneath me. When I looked down, there was at least a cup of clear fluid. I was genuinely astonished.
The second time I ejaculated was in the back of Tristan Taormino’s workshop at the Xplore Festival with someone I just met. I wasn’t sure if I could do it in a public place since it was still a very internal process for me and I felt a fair amount of performance anxiety. But when they announced play time and started handing out towels and gloves I jumped at the opportunity to hit up a cute dyke with nice looking hands. Once I knew it really was possible and my body could actually do it, I had overcome the first emotional block. The rest was just physiological.
It wasn’t long before I was ejaculating constantly – in cars, gutters, beds, toilet cubicles and porn films – and sometimes I could produce over a litre of fluid. The first person I ever assisted to ejaculate was queer porn star Jiz Lee, and it was on camera. I was beyond nervous, but Jiz gave patient instructions, and soon I was truly delighted to feel them gushing down my wrist. Over time I learned to train my pelvic floors to transform my leak into a squirt so I could shoot fluid up into the air with considerable force. Miraculously my UTIs reduced dramatically, which I presumed was from the constant flushing of bacteria through my urethra, and later found out that the glucose in ejaculate can help prevent UTIs. I felt very pleased with my body and bought myself a waterproof mattress protector.
One day I discovered that I could squirt without any penetration at all. I found a particular spot right at the top of my clit, higher than I would usually focus, and when I pressed my Hitachi magic wand into that spot I ejaculated almost instantly. It seemed inexplicable and marvellous at the same time, and I later made sense of it as a result of vibrations travelling down the arms of the clitoris and squeezing my urethral sponge from the sides. After a while, I found I could have clitoral orgasms and ejaculate simultaneously. My body didn’t cease to amaze me.
Since then, I’ve facilitated workshops on G-spot ejaculation for Amsterdam Pride and the Berlin Porn Film Festival, open to ‘people with cunts and those who fuck them’, with queer porn performers Gala Vanting, Sadie Lune and Wendy Delorme. We’ve covered anatomy, performed live sex demonstrations, screened our favourite squirting scenes from queer porn, taken Q&A and held space for others to experiment. In one workshop with Courtney Trouble in the lead up to the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, in which we held a fisting and squirting demo, we joked that the front row of the audience was ‘the splash zone’.
There is a dearth of anatomical diagrams that map out exactly what happens when we ejaculate. Medical literature has an embarrassing history of omitting women’s pleasure. If the clitoris is included, the urethral sponge or Skene’s glands rarely are. The most useful texts come from women pornographers, sexologists and sex educators with direct experience. Since the early 1980s Deborah Sundahl has released several books and instructional DVDs on women’s sexuality and female ejaculation. More recently, feminist porn director Tristan Taormino’s The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation includes some of the scientific literature on the issue.
From Australia, Melbourne-based Cyndi Darnell’s instructional video series The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal has a comprehensive section Squirts and Gushes: There She Blows with anatomy and advice on ejaculating. Cyndi has presented workshops at ACON as well as women-friendly sex toy stores like Max Black. The first live squirting demo I ever saw was run by Cyndi and Gala at Sex Camp in 2012. I was mesmerised and a little in love.
Below are my top ten tips for G-spot ejaculation. I learned through trial and error, and it was both an emotional and physical process. Whatever your body is capable of, hopefully these skills will assist you in your own journey to get to know and love your cunt a little better. Wishing you a wonderfully wet trip!
All bodies are different. All genitals are unique. This guide focuses on ejaculation that can happen for people with vulvas / front holes and talks about internal anatomy that is medically and traditionally labelled as “female.” We’re using words and labels traditionally applied to “female” anatomy in this guide, but we recognise this doesn’t cover the diversity of bodies and selves in our communities.
1. Forget male scientists. Get to know your vagina intimately
Reach into your vagina 1-2 inches with your fingers, you will find a porous spot that feels different to your vaginal walls and kind of like the roof of your mouth. The texture is similar to a sea sponge and is most obvious when you are aroused. This is the urethral sponge, which surrounds your urethral canal, and is usually located in the middle of the anterior or pelvic wall. The urethral sponge is comprised of paraurethral glands (or Skene’s glands, named after Scottish gynaecologist Alexander Skene in the 1880s) that fill with fluid as you become aroused. The whole region and surrounding tissue is referred to as the G-spot, after German physician Ernst Gräfenberg in the 1980s. The glands in the urethral sponge were also documented by Dutch physician Regnier de Graaf in the 16th Century.
SUPER FAST ANATOMY LESSON 1:
Rainbow anatomy! Remember that not all cunts / front holes are alike (inside or out!) and all anatomy drawings are only a general guide – they’re not representative of all of us (how could they be! That would be like saying a drawing of a daisy is an accurate representation of every single flower in the world.)
Regardless of the constant ‘discovery’ and ‘rediscovery’ of the G-spot and urethral sponge in the world of Western medicine, it’s likely women have been squirting and gushing for centuries before male scientists and doctors ever thought to research, document or believe this phenomenon and it has been referred to in ancient texts. Despite ongoing debates about the existence and function of G-spot ejaculation, we have increasing experiential evidence and testimonies from people for whom squirting is a part of their sexual life. The best way to explore what your body can do is to investigate yourself and find your own evidence. As you apply pressure, eventually you will be able to feel (and even hear) your urethral sponge become heavier and juicier as the glands swell. Get in there, trust your own body and discover the spot for yourself.
2. Differentiate between body fluids
We secrete multiple fluids through our vagina and urethra, each of different consistency, chemical make-up, smell, colour and taste. When we ovulate, we release cervical mucus which is stretchy and a similar texture to an egg-white. As we become aroused, we release vaginal mucus from our vulvovaginal (Bartholin’s) glands, which lie at the base of our vulva and lubricate the entrance to the vagina. In addition to this, when we squirt, we usually release two different fluids: squirting fluid and ejaculate.
Ejaculate is the liquid produced by the Skene’s glands in the urethral sponge. It is milky white in colour and contains prostatic fluid and glucose. These ducts are sometimes referred to as the female prostate, because the liquid (the ejaculate) they produce has a chemical composition similar to seminal fluid found in the male prostate. In contrast, squirting fluid is believed to build up in the bladder. It is a clear watery substance and is different again to urine, which is usually yellow in colour and salty. When we squirt, we release both squirting fluid and ejaculate out our urethra.
If you have a mirror or a camera, you can locate your urethra and watch where your squirt comes out. You can also smell your squirt, taste it and compare it to your urine. There are multiple possibilities – I even made perfume out of my own ejaculate for the Bent Art exhibition.
3. Avoid goal orientation. Acknowledge it might not happen
Theoretically everyone with a G-spot has the potential to ejaculate. But this doesn’t mean that everyone will. All vaginas are different: the placement of our G-spot, the way it feels and how we respond all vary between each person. What we can do with our vaginas can change over a lifetime, and can be affected by hormones, scar tissue, childbirth, menopause, medication, mental health and trauma, which can alter their elasticity, lubrication and capacity. The amount we can ejaculate ranges between a few tea spoons to a few cups – so you could have already ejaculated unknowingly.
Avoid making puddles your end goal. You might hate the sensation or just prefer a different kind of sexual activity. Be aware of your vagina’s capacities and limitations and use this as an opportunity to explore, meander and stop to feel the contours. If you squirt like a fire hydrant – awesome! If you just get a deeper understanding of your body – even better! Treat ejaculation as a bonus and take pleasure in the process.
4. From Hands to toys. Find the right tools for you
You’ve got everything you need in one hand. Two fingers are ideal for G-spot stimulation, and allow you to feel the texture of the urethral sponge as it swells. This is a great way to get feedback from the body right to your fingertips. You don’t need expensive toys, but if you want them go for something smooth, solid and heavy like glass or metal rather than something flexible like silicone. Njoy’s stainless steel Pure Wand, which has a 1.5inch bulb, is a great option and can be heated for a warm sensation. Strap-on cocks and bio-cocks can work if they are angled towards the front wall of the vagina, but curved toys with firm heads get the best reach. If you are fisting, you can rock the knuckles back and forth against the g-spot and use your forearm to get some pretty powerful leverage, but you may need to pull out or drop the angle of your wrist to let the fluid out.
5. Stay hydrated and hygienic
The amount of water you drink will affect how much you can squirt. If you are dehydrated, you are likely to end up with less liquid. Beware that Berrocca, beetroot and asparagus will change the colour and scent of your squirting fluid. It’s a wise idea to empty your bladder before and after any kind of penetration to avoid urinary tract infections. If you have persistent UTIs, try cranberry tablets (not juice), reduce sugar in your diet, take a probiotic and stay hydrated by drinking water.
Shower before and after play sessions to avoid transferring bacteria. Clean toys with antibacterial spray and Viraclean and use condoms on them. Nail polish can sometimes cause bacterial vaginosis, and skin-to-skin contact can bring risk of herpes and human papillomavirus so if you are playing with multiple people or moving between orifices it’s a good idea to wear latex or nitrile gloves. Remember that ejaculate is a body fluid, like semen or breastmilk, so it can also carry STIs or HIV, and keep this in mind if you are ingesting or absorbing it. You might also consider using a vegan, hypoallergenic, paraben-free or glycerine-free lube such as Probe or Sliquid Organics, which are great to reduce the likelihood of UTIs or thrush. Lube also helps prevent micro abrasions and means you can play for longer.
6. Start slow and build momentum
Go slow. It’s not a race. While clitoral orgasms can happen relatively quickly for some people, your body needs time to build up the ejaculate in your glands. Too much too soon on your G-spot is likely to feel tender, acute and irritated, and could result in a UTI. Pace yourself, find a steady rhythm, and stroke the sponge with your fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion, gently building the pressure and drawing down the fluid until it feels like you are juicing or milking the sponge.
Allow your body some time to become holistically aroused. Use foreplay, mix it up, try new angles. Intersperse direct stimulation with indirect stimulation to give the G-spot some breathing space. As you feel the sponge fill, you can hear it make a wet sloshing sound.
SUPER FAST ANATOMY LESSON 2:
7. Pace your orgasms
Consider how your body responds to clitoral stimulation. If your vagina is too sensitive after one clitoral orgasm, you might want to focus on ejaculating first and orgasming afterwards. The release feels very different. If a clitoral orgasm is just your warm up, you can alternate between clitoral orgasms and ejaculation, and with practice you might even be able to do them simultaneously. If you or your play partner(s) can multitask, you can combine clitoral and G-spot stimulation with oral, fingers, vibrators, or even just cupping the pelvis with the base of your hand to pulse the clit at the same time as rocking the pelvis with your fingers. It’s worth also trying a strong vibrator like a Hitachi on your clit, in case you can ejaculate without penetration.
8. Use gravity and practice your pelvic floors
There are many different ways to ejaculate. Some people gush, some leak, some dribble. There is no correct way to squirt. Lying on your back can be a comfortable position from which to relax your abdominals and pelvic floor muscles. Placing a pillow under your hips can help your partner reach the spot. Try moving around and finding what works for you.
You can also ejaculate sitting or standing up. I’ve found that standing up against walls, although a little extra work for your partner, means the liquid just falls out, and the heavy splatter on the concrete, a hallway, or the gutter can be pretty satisfying. Use gravity if you can.
Practice your pelvic floor muscles so you can better control your squirt. Start by identifying which are your pelvic floor muscles (you can do this by stopping and starting when you are peeing) and then isolating, contracting and relaxing them at regular intervals.
9. Don’t be afraid of pee
Let go of your fears of peeing on your partner. If you feel the need to pee, go with it. If the worst that happens is you urinate on your partner, so what? Just change the sheets. Urine is your friend –Embrace a golden shower every now and then.
This urge to pee is the precise moment to relax and let it all flow out. Don’t be afraid of making a mess. Once your squirt begins to flow, bear down with your pelvic floor muscles and squeeze. Eventually you can angle your hips and shoot your stream up into the air, which is fun if someone wants to catch it with their mouth.
10. Relax and let go
G-spot ejaculation can involve a significant release, physically and emotionally. Because we are not taught in school sex education that our bodies are capable of ejaculating, we don’t try it, suppress it for shame, mistake it for urine or don’t believe it when it happens. People with vaginas are taught to receive rather than to expel, take space or make a mess.
Be patient and check in with your partner regularly for feedback. Don’t expect or pressure another person to ejaculate for you. It’s an internal process and a rare gift when it happens. If you are assisting another person to ejaculate, stick around for some emotional aftercare. Be present and attentive – when we squirt, we’re letting go of a lot of stuff. Ejaculate is just a small part.
Zahra Stardust is an award-winning porn performer and striptease artist invested in sex education, pleasure activism and bodily integrity. See her body of work at http://intimatex.com/
Glitta Supernova is one of Australia’s key underground culture makers, Glitta have been creating & producing performance art for over 20 years. From Cult events such as Gurlesque “Lezzo Strip Joint” and Pretty Peepers Cabaret to her award winning theater productions that have toured the Australian & New Zealand Fringe Festival circuit Pretty Peepers Untraditional Cabaret & The Glitta Supernova Experience “Lets get METAphysical”. When Glitta is not performing she is a Makeup Artist for TV/Film, Fashion & Art. Drawing inspiration from past exploits in underground bohemia and the stage, she fuses her love of fashion history, art, travel & the Avant guard into an elixir that expels truly unique looks. Winner “Best Makeup” 2014 @ Australian Indie Music Video Awards and Head Makeup Artist on twice nominated Logie award TV show. glittasupernova.com